I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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