How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize