I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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