Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think my mom watched the whole time
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
