Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
