Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized

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(516): View more from New York

Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.

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(254): View more from Texas

you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.

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(614): View more from Ohio

You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

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(510): View more from California

Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!

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