Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
