DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
