Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
