ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
