I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
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Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Couch. On fire.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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