This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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