my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
