I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
