They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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