I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
whose ass print is on the piano?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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