It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
