But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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