Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
