So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
