I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
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Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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