girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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