dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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