can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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