i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize