like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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