no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
