i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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