If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
