yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
