I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
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I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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