My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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