also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
