They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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