Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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