"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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