party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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