Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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