The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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