i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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