i don't like sucking hair
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
