He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?