Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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