did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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