Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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