I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
