Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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