would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
