the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
