Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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