Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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