yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is it penis luge time yet?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
