god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
