Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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