I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
