she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
